soulmates

Let’s be honest- we all love the good old-fashioned idea of a soulmate. The One. That one person that your soul was made for and when you meet, it just clicks and everything falls into place. You are forever bonded together and no one can ever come between you and there will never be another person for you. One person that God created for you and you for them. I’m a romance writer- no one knows the idea of a soulmate better than I do.

Fortunately- yes, fortunately- that idea just isn’t realistic. One person that we are made for and that we always get along with and always agree with and they will complete us? It just doesn’t make any sense. And if it was true, then the divorce rates in this country would indicate that we are in even more trouble than we thought. I’m still not saying that divorce is good. But this would mean that a LOT of people missed their soulmate, creating a domino effect of more and more people missing their soulmate. It simply wouldn’t work.

Additionally, the idea that we are all created as halves, meant to find “The One” and that then, and only then, will we be complete, is entirely unbiblical. God did not create us to be incomplete until we magically find another human. He created us complete, only lacking the perfection required for us to enter Heaven and spend eternity with Him. And He supplied His Son to meet that need- not just any other human. In marriage, it is two whole people that come together to create one whole entity in Christ. Is it mathematically correct? Not really. But I never really was one for math.

God did not create us for another human being. Our souls were not made for another human’s soul. We were created for God. We were created in His Image to walk alongside Him and be with Him and worship Him and glorify Him. Just because that purpose was distorted by the fall of man does not mean that it is no longer our purpose or that who we were created for changes. We were still created for God, regardless of the fact that we live in a fallen, sinful world that is so against Him.

So, if you haven’t figured out why I said ‘fortunately’ earlier, let me explain. It goes back to what I said about the domino effect. If all these people had somehow missed “The One”, then we would be in a very sorry state if the idea of a soulmate was true. Millions of people wouldn’t be with their soulmate. In my opinion, then, it is a very very good thing that none of us truly have a soulmate. I find that there is so much less pressure this way to find “The One”. Because if there is no “One”, it is far easier to just let go and let God bring us a person who loves Him, glorifies Him, and will point us towards Him. It was never about us finding “The One”, but simply about us trusting that God would show us the path to find someone that, while maybe not “The One” is one person that we may spend the rest of our lives with, bringing honor to His Name.

This past year has been a tumultuous one for my personal, “romantic” life. To be honest, calling it my romantic life makes me want to cringe (funny, coming from a romance writer, right?), so we are just going to include it with all my other personal life things (cuz it is a personal life thing) and not refer to it specifically as my romantic life. It has not been an easy road and I am certainly still walking on the more difficult stretch. I went through a lot in that area in the past year or so.

But I also learned a lot. I experienced a lot of uncertainty and I did a lot of research. I felt a lot of fear and I did a lot of praying. I went through a lot of pain and I gave a lot to God. I learned so much through that experience that I went through and I know that I will continue to learn more as I walk down this portion of the road and into the next. Some day, when it is a little less fresh, a little less recent, and yes, a little less painful, I am looking forward to sharing more about it with you all. Because there are some things I learned that while I would love to share them with you all, they require context I am not ready to provide yet. But for right now, I am so very happy to be able to share this little bit of what I have been learning with you and my thoughts on it. This is one thing that I did learn that has very much stuck with me and I have found hope in, as I have walked the hills and valleys of life.

As always, I would love to hear any other thoughts on this topic and any differing opinions because it very well could be that I am wrong or that part of what I am putting out is wrong and I would love to have a conversation about that 🙂 If you have anything else to add, you can always DM me at my Instagram @rcalife and I will answer as soon as possible!

I love being in touch with you all as much as possible so you are always welcome to message me with prayer requests, questions, ideas, and challenges! I hope that this has been as helpful a post to you as the information in it has been for me <3

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